A good soldier

Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. It is the hard-working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops. Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.
2 Timothy 2:3‭-‬7 ESV

http://bible.com/59/2ti.2.3-7.ESV

When i woke up this morning and read this scripture it pulled on my heart strings because lately i have been considering my personal walk with Jesus and his purpose for my life. In 2 Timothy 1:8-9 Paul tells Timothy that he should not be ashamed in professing the word of God because he was called to do so not because of his works but because of God’s purpose for his life. Paul is encouraging Timothy to pursue the calling that God but on his life. That you must not stop in your calling and don’t be ashamed or afraid of it because God has a purpose for you to achieve. A good soldiers see the order that his commander provides and follows it not considering the civilian and there need but only looking at what the commander asked him to do. As christian we must foucs on Jesus and daily come to him and ask him what he as need for us to do. WhenI was a child i thought that God’s calling on your life was one moment in time were you did something for God and then the rest of your life was left to your pleasure. So i would be on the alert for a big burning bush moment to arrive in my life but that is not how God works not even in that story. Let look at Moses for one moment his story starts befoe he was born. God know what he need to free his people, one who understood Egyptian life from both sides. He had to survive the decree by Pharaoh so God gave Moses’s sister and mother a plan to preserve him. Then God gave him an education and he suffer some guilt from being a Hebrew in Pharaoh’s house. He was not subjected to slavery but he saw what his people had to endoure and it made him mad and he killed a man who was mistreating a slave. Then he flees the only home he knows to rome the wilderness until he finds a camp of Midian and he married the priest of Midian daughter and hehad children and keep flocks. As he did these things the old king of Egypt died and the slavery of the Iseraeliets became so rough that they began to cry out to God and he heard there cries and then God sent the angle of the Lord to appear to him with his 1 st direct assignment. Though Moses questioned the Lord at first the more he followed and trusted him the more assignment he was able to produce and finish. When we look at his tim line we see that God placed us in each moment of our time to understand and fulfill his goals for the kingdom. We must not be ashamed of were we are, how we worship or even our past mistakes or future miss ups God has a plan and a purpose for our life. We must come to him knowing that each moment is driving us to the eternal calling God has on our lifes. Don’t be afraid of it open your eyes and run the race that God has called you too. You may not understand all the time, it may not seem like you are moving but know this you are time is nothing to God he moves as we ar need to move in each situation. The more we learn of him the more we see that life is not about the individual but about Him. We do what we do for him not others not self but for God and if we suffer in the process know that it is not in vain or forgotten. As a Christian life is more then just this side we have a home beyond what we see. I orders live beyond us it never stops in death. The seeds we plant in this world don’t end with us. Don’t let the world distract you from the things that God called you to do. Keep foucs, don’t be ashamed or afraid and live life with the eternal in mind. Love peace and blessing unto you

Thoughts on hope

It is time for Easter and it is the biggest celebration of hope for  the christian believe.  Yet I see so many that have now hope. Young are trying to kill themselves, middle age people are giving up on dreams and older people live in a constant state of fear. My heart bleeds for them. I wish for them peace from the anguish of life. I wonder to myself why the epidemic of hopeless people. Yet I have hope that one day the tide will turn and my Lord and saver Jesus is coming back and end this present age and we will step into something better. My belief that my test makes me stronger that I will receive what God has for me and that the things that I don’t have are not there for a reason makes me believe that there is hope. My hope is built on nothing less then Jesus blood and rightousness. My hope is not in me. If i lay my hope in myself I will fail every time. My hope is not in people because they are only human they can’t understand what is best for me. Most don’t know how to love themselves how can they love me. My hope is not in stuff because it can be destroy.  Hope is a stared eyed word that bring light to darkness. This world is dark and dull with out hope you can’t see past today, this moment,  this feeling. Yet if mary did not walk into that grave were Jesus was buried her faith would not be restored. She would have ever know that God live on earth and died to wash our sins away. My favorite song is He thought I was worth saving this is truth. He saved us all we owe him all and to give up and give in is like telling the lord you were wrong I am no good. Yet he know you have value, his peace he has promise you. So you don’t have to live day by day in anxiety.  Let go of the thing you think that will make your life complete and grasps to the knowledge that God knows what is right for you. Let go of the fear that you can’t open yourself up to the things God is asking you to do. He will lead you right. There is hope if you lean on God. Don’t think you are alone lean on God. He will help you.

Mixed blessings

Elizabeth opened her eyes to see that her dreams were about to come true. The job that she prayed for wanted her. She received an email from Mr. James this morning telling her that they liked her and extend her a offer in the career adviser department of Texas University.  Elizabeth jumped for joy, she had made it now ,her life could truly began she thought . For years  Elizabeth took odd jobs here and there and worked on her BA in English and then her Masters in psychology and career management,she put in 20 years of hard work to get to the place that she was in and now here it is on the apple screen her big break. She picks up her iPhone and called her boyfriend Tony he picked up on the first ring. Hey who is this, a small squeak voice said.I respond back. TThis Elizabeth Tony’s girlfriend who are you. I waited for a responds but all i got was a dail tone. I became mad instantly.  Then my phone rang and it was Tony’s number again i pick it up and i hear Tony’s voice. He says hey babe don’t get mad butThenis not like you have been avalible to me you are always out doing your own thing. Giving more attention to your sister and her needs past me so. Just got tired of competiting with her and the reast of your family dramas. Boy bye with all that crazy talk I said,Then I hung up the phone. I was so made at him how dare he blame me for his cheating.  Why did he even say that.  it drives me crazy the way he talks to me. Like he is in control of our relationship.  Please I know when somebody is playing the role of boyfriend and not really being there for you.  Tony was that kind of man but I loved him and I played a long with his trickery but not today.  Today my dreams are about to come true so i am not going to let some man that I know in my heart was not true to me in the first place get me down.  So I pick up the  phone to call my best friend she answered on the second ring. Hey lizzy what is up.  I responds with a loud hey jazzy what is up friend. How is life. Wonderful and crazy at the same time i finally got one baby in school and now girl i am pregnant. It is such a mixed blessing.  Wow friend. I think that is wonderful that you have that little one on the way but I. Can see how it may make you feel.  What did you call me for friend I. Know somthing is up because you are always so busy i rarely here from you during the week. Elizabeth laugh and said guess what jazz I heard back from that job i was working so hard to get. Also side note Tony is really gone this time. I can’t keep waiting on him to grow up . I am both happy and sorrowful for you friend. Wow i guess you are in a mixed up feeling moment as while.  Yes girl I am so tired of him . He just took me for granted for too long like he only wanted me around when he was going to meet me in front of people he wanted to impress. I mean this is the 3 girl he cheated on me with. I really hate that I stayed with him tje last 2 times but I was so in love with him my heart always sreamed louder then my head when it came to him. Jessica it is sad but I still love him but i alwaysDo this. Yet i am determined to move past this and look at my new job as my way out and my way in to a new path in my life. Then Jessica paused and said that is wonderful Lizzie you need to look forward and leave the past behind.  Don’t let the cloudiness of your heart keep you from being the best you. Thank you friend and you know don’t worry because you can be a mom to 2 kids. I see it like this fear is the only thing that equals failure.  We are going to be fine. Yes we will!!

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Lost Girl found Boy

She waites for him in hot cars knowing that one moment with him cures the craziness of the day!!

Her heart is all in as she moves from place to place know that he want her there for the little things she can feel he loves her.

He waited for her to heal hr prayed for her. He took her had and showed her problems to God and gave them to him knowing that they would have a life some day.

He know her worth he found her more the beautiful but he saw her as a prize that he won. Better then that he looked upon her as the ending of himself and the begin of newness. She saw what he was and understood what he was ment to be. Her heart longed to help him created that in partnership.  

For she know of past lovers who took her strength and miss used it. Opening it up only to maker her captive to the bottom of his life. She was a secret put away for no one to see but him. Place on a platter of honey and fruit to lick at his delight leaving her with violent fear of what is to come.

Yet he delivered her from the likes of such men and bowed hisself to her. Wow how God wins!!!

Rachel

I just can’t keep living life like this all in my head. So i decided to write my ever growing pain and send it to the atmosphere. Today I lied to myself tell myself that living a life fill with unanswered questions is okay. Some where in my life i learned to be okay with the lies that people have told me over the years. You know like when a guy that wants to have sex with you tells you that he loves you and needs you. I knew that was a lie but i would just say okay and see if i wanted to go down that road with him. I know that they would leave me for one reason or another but I still entertain them. It is like looking at dramatic tv 

Withering grass

Life is as withering grass and at any moment the sun can come and take us away. Life has  movement it rushess in the wind and takes you over and above where you want to go. It pushes us in direction we don’t see and then it is gone. Life never is long and we chase after the chaos of it. I crave to have more of it but it is lost on me. I need it but it always wants to leave.  I need more time i scream but it not listening. It keeps running away and i feel like i have wasted most of it. It is slipping away and nobody can stop it.

Missing you

Every day I open my eyes wishing you were laying by myside

I know that Gods plan for us will make us better and grow us closer but now it feels like pain to be away from you

I long for the day that i can touch you.See your face and the relation of love in your eyes as they conform to me that their more then words inside. I feel selfish to need you this much . i am in pain because i miss your touch. I understand how Juliet must have felt when she saw her Romeo in death never to have any more. Our fate is different I pray I think we will be together on this side of heaven eventually. 

As I close my eyes and fall asleep i dream of you laying next to me.

Mary’s story

Long were the days and night Mary Macmullen worked at the restaurant, this week along she worked 80hr. She would come in early in the morning and began with her inventory list, making sure she stocked everything for the morning shift.  She hated that the morning and night crew could not get along so she had made it her life long mission as chef of the California room in Austin, Tx that she would create a more cohesive staff then most restaurant she had worked in, she had worked in the kitchen for over 10 years. Now was her chances to make a name for her self and maybe even meet her Chef icon Daniel.  He had restaurants all over the world, he started his career when he was 15 and by 21 he had a 2 restaurants in his reign of Paris were he lived at the time.  At the age of 30 he had 15 restaurants spanning western Europe.  I so aspire to do that one day  she thought to herself as she prep her secret dragon fire buffalo wing sauce.  As she finish up the hot lines stations in walks her best friend and right hand chef Lori. 

Hey friend how is it going this morning? Lori asks

Well it is going wonderful now that you walked in the door. You don’t know how much I missed you. These last 2 weeks. I have been working on about 4hr sleep this couple of days.  I hope that you enjoyed your vacation because I need you in a bad way.Jeffery and Louis are driving me crazy. They are supppse to be or lead cooks but they act like children fighting with the front of the house staff. I get it some times the waiters don’t pick up the food right away but they ate busy just like us. I wish they would have some compassion on each other.

Then Lori said we just need to make the back of the house and front of the house switch roles in for a cross training activities.  That is a good ideal.I reply as I turn on all equipment and start placing tools on the line.

As we finish up the final stages of our morning routine, my lead morning cook comes in with the rest of the staff all at the same time. This was odd because they usually trickle in one by one, I felt nervous by there sight. I walk up to my morning staff and clear my throughs and said, hello everyone how is it going today. There were no smile. The lead cook steps out and says  that they all got an offer to open up a restaurant for a big name company. My mind turned off for a moment and then I asked that they repeat themselves.  Then my lead Cook said i sorry we havr to do this but I have kids and they have benefits plus more money we can work for one more week but we have to start next week.I was beyond taken by surprise from his statement. I want to sream at them about how their disloyalty would ruin me but i simply could not give them the same stability that a big company gives to their employees.  I told them good luck and I prayed that they had a positive experience in the new place. They looked at me in shock as I went back into my office and Lori followed me and shut the door. “Are you okay,I mean what is going on?”,Lori asked with her hands above her head. Mary said,”I don’t know but it feels like my world is falling apart and I don’t know what to do? I am not a rich person , can’t pay my staff more and I can’t over work the night crew food is so expensive that we have barely made the little profits we have. I just had no financial leverage to win my team back. What about their loyalty to us, Lori says,I thought we were a team but at frist sight of temptation for more money they run, I am so mad at them right now. Now friend I love you passion for our dream but the truth is people work to take care of their household and when they see an opportunity to increase their earning potential they hop at it and I understand why they are doing this but I wish they didn’t.  But what is done is done we have to think what are we going to do next? We are booked for the next 2 weeks and we have a party of 80 for Saturday On top of regular booked business so we have to work them for 2 weeks but we may need to close for 3days to find and train new staff if that is possible.  I am going to put in an ad right now.  The ad read Cook needed immediately hire 1 years experience in kitchen. After Mary finished the rest of her paper work she let up a silent pray please Lord don’t let my dream die. Then she went out her office and began to help cook on the line.(more of her story to come)

Realize

Dreams are open to have

There is freedom in the archiving 

What you are made for. I see you no love lose during difficult times. You stand ready for this moment. 

I open my eyes to the truth inside 

Dreams are realized. Through tough nights and endless meeting encouragement and fighting self doubt with honest meaning

We do this because life is real and Dreams deferred make one ill.

So don’t just hold your dreams in darken places that no one can see them. Bring them out in the light for all to see you never know who needs the thing of your dreams.

When dreams are realized and fully grow it bulid town into cities and cities in to state and on until the world bows down to the glorious new thing which makes the world sing.

Don’t give up on your dreams they are not just for you they are also for me.

Passion lost found…

Lost endless numness

To dreams flamed out 

Drown out by demon smiles

I can’t hear what is real when you are around.

They keep me cold and with out sound

I can’t love it brings up doubts

I raise my head to the maker asking for the truth of my hope.

Emptying my heart full of tears looking for the deeper me

Longing to see the calling return begging, pleading for the fire

Then I hear a voices say come back to me

The lights began to shine and I awake, i am alive

To the passion of my heart

I am alert and eager to start

Opening myself to the honesty in my soul

Achieving my masters goal. I am rebord

My love is made whole